Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What A Difference A Week Can Make...

About a week ago, I had a mini-breakdown of sorts.  I had come across some very unwelcome info about BH that made me sad & incredibly angry.

But now....   I am feeling liberated. 

I am OVER BH!!  Like, really!  I do not long for him, I do not pine for him, I do not miss him, I do not want him, I just want to move on & put him FAR FAR behind me.

That is not to say that I am over what happened.  I am not over feeling guilt & regret over the poor choices I made that led me to the position I am in today.  I am not over paying off debt from my past relationship that was unfairly dumped on me.  I am not totally over feeling anger & bitterness...

I guess I won't be totally over what happened until I can move on to the FORGIVENESS stage...  But I am NOT ready for that yet. 

What I AM ready for is to start working on myself.  I want to figure out why I made some of the poor decisions I did so I can learn to make better ones in the future.  I have learned a lot about my self in the last few months, and there are things I'd like to change, develop, explore...   I need to plan a road map for the future, and THAT is going to be my focus.  I still have time to make my life into something I am proud of... 

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