Relationship Inventory

As part of an exercise I am doing through a book I am reading, Getting Past Your Breakup, I am working on a relationship inventory.  There are a series of lists I have made, such as Positive Things About Relationship with BH, Negative Things About Relationship with BH, etc. 

When I get lonely, it is easy to think of the past, & my relationship with BH & do what is called "splitting."  That's when I remember all of the good times, & think of all of BH's good qualities, and forget about the bad.  As a reminder of why I am better off alone (it is that morning vulnerable time for me!) I am going through the Negative Things About the Relationship:

>  Time & attention I wanted to give to my children was compromised.
>  No power or control over my own life.
>  Constant criticism.
>  Dealing with his children & their various issues.
>  Felt BURDENED by responsibilities BH heaped on me.
>  My needs, wants, dreams & desires were marginalized.
>  Constant baby-mama drama!
>  Never appreciated.
>  All undesirable chores/jobs were dumped on me.
>  No sharing of responsibilities.
>  Everything was "tit for tat" in a very unhealthy way.
>  I did not have a life I was proud of.
>  Dealing with his anger issues and explosions was exhausting.
>  Squeezing 6 people (& all of their things) in a house meant for 4 MAX was STRESSFUL.
>  Making meals, cleaning up & doing laundry for 6 people with no help.
>  Entered relationship financially secure & lost it all bailing BH out of his financial mess.
>  Worrying about BH's behavior when my mother would come visit.
>  Feeling that 4:00 panic -- house needed to be picked up & dinner started, stat!
>  Inability to travel with my children - or do anything alone with them.
>  Constantly feeling hurt & wounded by BH.
>  Feeling so co-dependent.
>  Being told how inefficient I was all of the time.
>  Feeling trapped and hopeless about the future.
>  His "catch phrases" that he would yell all the time:

"If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough."
"There is no later, there is only now!"  (NOT said in a ZEN way!   Yelled!)
"I could finish everything you have to do today in half the time & spend my afternoon watching TV!"

Not a pretty picture, is it???