Right after I left BH, his baby-mama served him with papers suing him for full custody of his younger kid. She tried to get full custody when they split & lost, but who could blame her for trying again? The kid was in therapy by age 4 for anxiety - split custody was not good for him. And he did not like going to his dad's house - he would flat out say that he loved his Mommy a lot, but he only loved his Daddy a little.
As I was initiating No Contact, I was THREATENED by BH not to change my FB (which had both our names on it) & to pretend we were still together through his court case - and that I would need to be there no matter what. If I did not comply, he was going to email naked pictures he had of me to everyone I knew & even people I did not know! And the really f*^%ed up thing was that during that very same conversation, he told me he wanted me to feel like if I ever needed him, if I had an emergency, even if we were totally apart, that I could call him to help me. WTF?????? Even when we were together, I couldn't count on him!! Once my car broke down in his baby-mama's driveway, and when I called him to help me, he told me he couldn't leave work & I just needed to figure it out. I wound up calling my Mom (as usual) & she got me AAA so I could have my car towed & dealt with. A$$HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He also loved to ramble on & on about how it was not his job to "put a smile on his kid's face." He was there to feed, clothe & discipline his children, and ensure they were responsible. End of story. He was never affectionate with them, and NEVER gave them positive reinforcement. Without my children around, it was a truly joy-less house. His older son (of course, he had ADHD & Aspergers, so MAJOR issues there) was only concerned about how he was always "getting screwed" and obsessed with possessions (without love, what else is there?) and the younger son would mope around whining for Mommy (who could blame him? With Mommy, he received love & affection, instead of being barked at all day!) BH confessed to me many times that although he loved his children, both were unplanned & unwanted & if he could go back in time he would never have had them. He despised both of their mothers & went off all the time on how badly they were f*%)ing up his kids, and how he had to be the way he was to undo all of the damage they were doing.
I have to say that I am happy I got my kids away from that maniac & his f*^(ed up kids. My children have grown up ADORED by all of my friends & family, and are CONSTANTLY shown affection & positive reinforcement. One of the hardest things I have to accept is that I took them from an idyllic life with an intact family, and exposed them to true pathology in that A$$HOLE's house. It is the most selfish thing I have ever done, and I feel like I am still being selfish as I am going through all of this emotional turmoil.
I just want to be through to the other side of this & on my way to happiness......
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